archive from firefish #3
and the big one that blew up:
let's talk about racism and how it shows up in everyday instances ...
when i first got to the states as a resident back in 2008, the then-fiancee (now husband) asked me to drive his car into the dealership for an appointment he made to get the brakes worked on.
when i got there, they told me they had no record of a service call for me or the car and that they were not going to work on it that day...
hubster calls: “do you have an appointment on the books for me?” them: “oh yes – we're ready and waiting for you when you show up” him: “er ... my wife is there and she says you turned her away” them: “oh .. heh .. didn't realise that was your wife. ok – but it might take a while to get you done”
no slurs, no outright “we don't want black people here”, just this toxic undercurrent of “you are not welcome” here.
this is what racism looks like today. it's not obvious, it's not something you can even call out because the way they do it is to give them maximum deniability “no that's not what we SAID” ... “oh no that's not what we meant” ... and when asked to explain, the goal posts move ...
in this instance, it wasn't that they couldn't or wouldn't work on his car, even after telling him they were waiting on him to start work, now it was that they're suddenly too busy to do what they were contracted (via appointment) to do.
when you want to know what racism looks like, ask the victim what their experience is ... don't, for the love of all that is good in this world, depend on what your reading of a situation is because your (white) experience is ALWAYS tempered for deniability.
originally posted on 30-Jul-2023