mental health? maybe?

i feel ok. i don't feel despondent or sad. high spirits, but low energy. i am tired and sleeping a lot. that isn't too surprising, i think, considering i haven't been sleeping well for years. i have a lot of sleep deficit. so that doesn't worry so much. (also, titrating off lexapro is likely to cause a lot of sleeping too .. the body is working hard to adjust to new levels of the drug). so sleeping a lot if not worrisome ... yet.

what worries me is my lack of interest in my usual activities... even work i have to do. i have been putting this task off for a week now – almost two. which is bad. REALLY bad. but i just don't want to do anything.

i have games i can play and that have been keeping me happy for months... i have sudoku, learning mandala, tech stuff ... my servers could do with some attention ... i need to upgrade some of my docker containers ... i mean there is a ton of tech stuff i can do... i just don't feel like doing any of it. i open up a terminal and just sit there looking at it.*

i want to type. i feel like i want to write. so instead of a post, i am writing this in the hopes that i get some of that urge satisfied.

...

and after over an hour, i think i found what to do... play on the disc ... problem solved. cos that's a lot of typing. and it's giving me my fix.