fyrfli's musings

so ... recently i have been called to face my internalised misogyny.

internalised biases are tricky because you don't know you have that bias and, if you are a generally decently aware person, when someone tells you about it, your response is always going to be defensive.

i mean, you know yourself ... you can't be biased. right?

wrong.

the way how you can tell that your internal bias is at work is simple:

if someone says that something you've said or seen is bigoted, and you don't see the bigotry, chances are you have some internal bias at work.

my problem with this recent issue is that i don't think i clearly grasp what the bias is. i didn't see a problem and i still don't see a problem. and i am excusing it in my head by saying it's “about photography”. now ... see ... i am one of those people who is always hyper aware of my effect on others – what i say, what i do, how i do it. so when someone tells me something is bigoted, i am doing to lose sleep until i figure out why ... why is is bigoted and why don't i see it. i have to get to the bottom of it. and quickly because i already have sleep issues, so the less sleep i lose over it, the better.

/sigh

i should probably go find something to read because this is really bugging me.